Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

The New York Times has an article about the upsurge in "spas" at vacation resorts. One that sounds particularly repulsive is The Spa at the Hotel Hershey, where, you guessed it, they rub chocolate on you. I checked out the website.

Whipped Cocoa Bath*
25 minutes, $45
Settle into our foaming chocolate milk bath for a soothing and softening signature Hershey experience. Milk will soften and renew the skin while you indulge in this chocolate experience.

Maybe I'm nuts (almonds?), but why would anyone want to bathe in chocolate milk? It sounds pretty awful.

Also note: "For your convenience, a 20% service charge will be added to your bill." Uh, for whose convenience? I think they mean for their convenience.

But, in any case, what the article doesn't go on to say is that in response to The Spa at Hershey Hotel, a number of other premium product-oriented resorts have opened their own spas. For example:

The Spa at Sherwin-Williams
Paint the town red, or just paint yourself. Our application technicians will bathe your pores in acrylic bursts of color, and you can enjoy a day feeling like a member of Blue Man Group, or one of those guys on the San Francisco Wharf who move like robots.

Relaxation Carbonation: The Spa at Coca-Cola
Relax in an effervescent sea of bubbles, as caramel-colored sparkling sugar water infuses your every body cavity. Enjoy the caffeinated sensation of a full-body immersion in one of America's favorite beverages.

Universal Studios Hollywood Spa Experience
Let your skin travel Back to the Future. Relax in a gentle Rain, Man. Or, for our larger customers, we offer Mission: Impossible, a tag-team mud bath application you'll be sure to find remnants of for weeks to come.

Ever wonder what it's like to fry in a vat of hot oil? Wonder no more. Take a dip in the tallow end of the pool. Get your buns toasted. Lettuce make this a vacation to remember.