Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

"I want to thank you all for choosing to take my class this semester. It means a lot to me. I know the Law of Fish gets a bad rap, pretty much everywhere, but it's my goal to convince you that it's a really exciting body of law, worth learning about, worth thinking about, and worth studying. To that end, I've chosen the most boring casebook I could find. I want you all to come to class. I'd like you to come on time, but even if you can't be here on time, please come anyway. Come for the first ten minutes, come for the last ten minutes, come for thirty seconds in the middle, leave if you're bored, leave if you're tired, leave if you're hungry, leave if you feel like checking your e-mail but the wireless network's not working. I'd like you to pay attention, but even if you can't pay attention, please come anyway. Talk to the person next to you, talk to the person across the room, instant-message with the sound on, download mp3s, listen to mp3s, create your own mp3s. I understand. I also realize that this class overlaps with the time that many of you might choose to eat a mid-afternoon snack. Mid-afternoon snacks are very important. Please feel free to bring food to class. You can bring crunchy food, drippy food, smelly food, it is all okay with me. You can bring fried chicken, spare ribs, rotten eggs, durian, it's all fine. Even though I myself am deathly allergic to peanut butter, you may bring it, and I will simply teach from outside the window and scream loudly enough for you to hear. It's all okay. I will assign reading, and while I would be delighted if you do it, I understand if you can't. You can do a page of the reading, you can do a sentence of it, you can just read one word. I may call on you, but I will never expect an answer. I may ask you a question, but I will never expect you to respond. I will try not to call on you while you are chewing, or while you are in mid-conversation with your neighbor. Finally, there will be an exam at the end of the semester, but you need not take it. You're getting an A anyway."