Here's a sketch I wrote last night that was more offensive than this version is, but I toned it down before I posted it because I lack the confidence that I know where the line is. And also because the offensive stuff wasn't the funny part. Maybe. Or I may have ruined it.

Boston Tea Party

(Frank, a colonial patriot guy, creeps on stage cautiously, looking out for unexpected guests. He looks at his watch. He waits. Moments pass. Joe, also a patriot, also creeps on stage cautiously. Frank cautiously approaches Joe. They whisper.)

FRANK
You here for the Tea Party?

JOE
Yeah. You too?

FRANK
Yeah. Thought maybe I had the wrong place.

(Steve, also a Patriot, creeps on stage cautiously. He approaches the other two.)

STEVE
You guys here for the Tea Party?

FRANK
Yeah.

JOE
Yep.

STEVE
Awesome. We all set? You got the tea? The boat? The Declaration of Independence?

(They produce the items. They begin to walk off stage.)

FRANK
Wait. Did you guys eat yet?

JOE
What?

FRANK
I figured we'd do dinner first, so I didn't eat anything.

(They both look at him funny.)

FRANK
Eh, nevermind, it's fine. I'll grab something afterwards.

JOE
No, you didn't eat something, so let's eat. I only had some cereal. I didn't really think about it. But I could eat.

STEVE
We're gonna eat? That's gonna take forever. I thought we were really focused today. Get here, do the Tea thing, all business.

JOE
We don't have to do a sit-down place, we can just do something quick.

FRANK
I feel bad now that I started something. It's no big deal. I'll survive. Let me just run in somewhere and get a piece of pizza or something. I'll eat it before the tea dumping gets started.

JOE
No, this is silly, we have all night, it's fine. We'll eat. I know this cool Chinese place.

STEVE
Is it fast?

JOE
I don't know. I've never been there. Benjamin Franklin said it was good.

FRANK
I'm up for Chinese.

STEVE
I had Chinese for lunch.

JOE
Oh, Steve. Okay, we can just wander till we find something.

STEVE
I just want to do this tea thing and go home. Rhonda's got some thing tonight at school we have to go to. I didn't realize this was going to be a whole big production.

FRANK
It's not a whole big production. It's just dinner. We didn't talk about it, so I just assumed we were all planning on dinner. It's not my fault.

STEVE
I didn't say it was your fault.

FRANK
Well, you're making me feel pretty bad about all this. Show some sensitivity, Steve. I have feelings too.

JOE
Don't get into a fight over this. It's no big deal. We'll find a place, we'll grab a bite, we'll protest the British, and then we'll go home. It's fine. We can handle this.

STEVE
Fine, but if we're grabbing food can I at least call Bill and invite him along? He's been asking me to do something with him and I keep blowing him off. This way, food and the protest, it's a whole evening, and he feels included.

JOE
Bill? Ever since the thing with the hat, you know Bill and I haven't really gotten along. I'd really appreciate if we just kept it to the three of us. You start adding more people and the whole vibe changes. This was going to be a fun protest, just the three of us, like old times. And now you want Bill to come? I know he's your friend and everything, but I don't click with Bill. I'd rather not do this with Bill.

FRANK
And you know Bill. Once you invite Bill, he'll have three more of his friends to invite, and we won't know them, and they'll take over. Where we start out keeping it simple, with the tea and the boat, you get Bill and his friends involved and suddenly there's fireworks and a guillotine. He turns everything into a production.

JOE
And his breath kinda smells.

STEVE
Okay, okay, I didn't mean to cause a production. I won't call Bill.

FRANK
We could call Sam though.

STEVE
Frank, Sam's kind of unreliable when it comes to these things. Remember the Stamp Tax?

FRANK
Yeah, you're right. I forgot.

JOE
We could call Edgar.

STEVE
Edgar's British.

JOE
Oh, oops. Forgot. (pause) But what if we just call him for dinner, and don't tell him about the Tea Party. We can just head our separate ways after dinner and meet back up again. Edgar's cool. I think it'd be fun.

FRANK
Joe, we're not inviting Edgar to the Boston Tea Party.

JOE
No, not the Tea part-

FRANK
Forget it.

JOE
Fine. I was just throwing it out there. So you want fish and chips?

STEVE
Sure.

FRANK
Yeah, that's cool. At that British place?

JOE
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

STEVE
They're good.

JOE
Yeah.

(They walk offstage.)