Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

I had lunch with a friend today who said he thought one of the toughest things about the Bar Exam is that doing all of these multiple choice questions is terribly depressing.

Nothing good ever happens to these people. Everyone who crosses the street gets hit by a car, every doctor botches the surgery, parachutes never open, contracts never get fulfilled, everyone who uses a lawnmower ends up in the hospital, as soon as you write a will your whole family dies, your employee benefit plan never pays out its benefits, everyone's computer gets a virus, your friends are always intoxicated, stealing your farm equipment, and driving it into the barn, police search you all the time for no good reason, you can never find a good place to hide your weapons, no one ever writes anything down right, banks never recognize a signature as a forgery, and the forger always flees the country.

It's no better for criminals, actually. Arsonists never burn down what they meant to, thieves always end up murdering someone, conspirators can never convince their fellow criminals to back out, no one's ever given access to their lawyers before questioning, and spring guns go off in everyone's garage.

No wonder no jurisdiction has adopted the model code tested on the multistate exam. It's a recipe for disaster. There's so much crime, nothing ever goes right, every factory emits something terrible that kills your plants, the woods are filled with danger, anyone who tries to save you ends up doing more damage, the unions are all on strike, there seem to be an unlimited supply of easy-to-obtain snakes, no one does background checks, suppliers never have enough of what you ordered, property rights are virtually non-existent -- rogue easements left and right, no one ever records any deeds, everyone's trying to adversely possess everyone else's land -- and everyone's constitutional rights are always being impeded. And there's a shocking number of lawsuits.

All in all, MBE-land is a pretty horrible place. :)