Jeremy's Weblog

I recently graduated from Harvard Law School. This is my weblog. It tries to be funny. E-mail me if you like it. For an index of what's lurking in the archives, sorted by category, click here.

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

Law School's Scariest Voice Mail Messages (these are fake -- I don't mean to imply there are people who actually have these messages -- I just think it's a funny concept...):

Two Weeks Before Exams:
[BEEP] Hi. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message at the beep and I'll get back to you. [BEEP]

One Week Before Exams:
[BEEP] No phone. Studying for exams. Leave a message. [BEEP]

Three Days Before Exams:
[BEEP] Library. Caffeine. AHHH! [BEEP]

One Day Before Exams:
[BEEP] Having nervous breakdown. Talk after exams. [BEEP]

During Exams:
[BEEP] What's wrong with you, calling me during an exam? Are you nuts? Do you want me to fail? Moron. (pause) If this is a potential summer employer, please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. [BEEP]

After Exams:
[BEEP] Sleeping. Message. [BEEP]

After Getting Grades:
[BEEP] Was mad. Ripped phone out of wall. Voice mail not working. Don't bother leaving message. [BEEP]

...these could be so much funnier, I know... it's just not working this morning... maybe later I'll fix them and make them funny...